


You can('t) love someone back to life

by TheHerondaleBitch



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comforting Castiel, First Kiss, Fluff, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares, Sam Ships It, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 03:11:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11705595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHerondaleBitch/pseuds/TheHerondaleBitch
Summary: After Cas’ death Dean was a wreck. Sam and he had buried the body instead of burning it like they would have done with every other person. But not Cas.The first few days Dean wouldn’t leave Cas’ room. He just lay on his bed, a pillow snug close to his chest and the trench coat draped over him so he could smell the faint smell of Cas that was fading even more every day. He wouldn’t eat. The only thing he would drink was the whiskey he took with him when he entered the room for the first time, but that one was long empty. So he just lay there, with the pillow in his arms and did nothing.Well, it seemed like he did nothing, but actually he prayed. He prayed every god forsaken minute that he was awake to his angel to come back to him. Even when sleep and the nightmares finally caught up with him, he called out for his best friend. The man he fell in love with.





	You can('t) love someone back to life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My parabatai who got me into this mess](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+parabatai+who+got+me+into+this+mess).



> Some of you might know the quote "You can't love someone back to life" from the Neflix Series "13 reasons why". So I was rewatching it, when I heard that qoute and thought, why not write a fanfic about that, in which you actually can. So yeah and this is what came out.
> 
> Enjoy, and thanks for reading!

After Cas’ death Dean was a wreck. Sam and he had buried the body instead of burning it like they would have done with every other person. But not Cas. When he came back, he would need a vessel. _His_ vessel.

The first few days Dean wouldn’t leave Cas’ room. He just lay on his bed, a pillow snug close to his chest and the trench coat draped over him so he could smell the faint smell of Cas that was fading even more every day. He wouldn’t eat. The only thing he would drink was the whiskey he took with him when he entered the room for the first time, but that one was long empty. So he just lay there, with the pillow in his arms and did nothing.

Well, it seemed like he did nothing, but actually he prayed. He prayed every god forsaken minute that he was awake to his angel to come back to him. Even when sleep and the nightmares finally caught up with him, he called out for his best friend. The man he fell in love with.

Sam would try to get him to stand up. To eat, to drink, to just do anything. But Dean just grunted and turned away from his brother to hide his face in Cas’ pillow that no longer smelled like him. Sam didn’t know what to do. He knew how heartbroken his brother was, but he needed to eat. Needed to live. Even if it was hard. Dean had been there for him when Jess died, and he would be there for Dean. And do everything he could to bring the angel back. So he read, and read, searching the whole bunker for some answers, but he found none.

When Dean came out of Cas’ room for the first time after almost two weeks Sam stood in the kitchen. He heard his brother’s steps behind him and swirled around to see him standing there. He looked terrible. He had dark circles under his eyes and his clothes seemed just a bit too big for him now. His cheeks were slightly fallen in and he just stared at Sam with a cold, broken expression.

Sam came up to him to pull him in a tight hug, but he wouldn’t even raise his hands. He just stood there as Sam asked him what he wanted to eat, what he needed. After a while Sam decided that he wouldn’t get an answer anyway so he fixed his brother a small meal and even brought out some pie. Dean ate a few bites and drank the whole glass of water Sam gave him, but then he stood up and left the kitchen, probably to go back to Cas’ room.

He wouldn’t even look at the pie.

Sam sighed. He didn’t know how to help his brother, but he guessed that this was a start.  
Dean came out of the room more often now, and every time Sam would fix him something to eat and drink, he would ask him what he needed and if he wanted to talk, but he never got an answer.

Dean would always go back to the room and stay there for the next couple of hours. But at least he was eating again.

He never stopped praying, though. This one particular night he even told his angel that he loved him. And that he wished he could tell him in person. That he _would_ , once he returned to him.

He told him about all the little quirks and habits he loved about the angel. His little head tilt when he didn’t understand a reference, that slight frown he almost always seemed to have. Those smiles he saved only for Dean, how he would roll his eyes at the stupid jokes Dean would make. His piercing eyes. Chuck, how he missed those eyes.

 

Two and a half months later Sam found himself in the library. Alone. Because Dean was back in his own room again. He had taken the trench coat with him. Sam went through all the books again in case he had missed something, when suddenly the front door to the bunker creaked open. Sam’s hand immediately went to the gun underneath the table and he hid behind one of the shelves. He was ready to shoot whoever came through their door, but his gun arm fell slack to his side when he saw who it was.

 

Dean was shaking. He saw the light seething out of Cas’ body, saw him falling to the ground. Those burnt wings. The lifeless body. Cas was _dead_. Those memories haunted him for months now, but they were not any less horrible.

‟Cas” he whispered and then screamed and screamed until he couldn’t breathe anymore. He had a panic attack, like every night after his death. Why did he even bother going to sleep when this was what waited for him in the darkness.

‟Dean!” The deep voice seemed to come from everywhere. Dean sobbed. So his nightmares decided that those memories weren’t enough anymore. Now he had to hear his voice. Hear it so clearly as if he stood right beside him.

‟Dean!” He felt someone grab his shoulders and shake him. Dean woke up with a sob.

And stared right into those blue eyes.

‟Dean. You were having a nightmare.”

‟Cas?” Dean’s voice was rough after such a long period of not using it. ‟Is that you?” He wouldn’t let himself hope. Cas smiled.

‟Yes Dean, it’s me. I’m here. I came back to you.” Dean let out a sob. He threw his arms around the angel and pressed him close to his chest, nestled his face into Cas’ neck and breathed in his scent to make sure he was really here. Cas hugged him back equally hard and for a long while they just stayed that way. Dean drew back a few inches.

‟But how?” He whispered, not entirely trusting his voice. Cas smiled slightly.

‟I was at this place. I believe it was the Empty. You know, where all the angels go. I thought I was lost for good, but then I heard your voice. I heard your prayers. Heard your screams. I knew I had to get back to you so I followed your voice. And then there was nothing. Full darkness for so long, I almost gave up. But I could still hear you. So I pushed forward and forward until I found myself in my vessel.”

‟You heard me?” Dean thought back to what he said and blushed.

‟Yes Dean, I heard everything. That was what brought me back. Your love brought me back.”

‟Dean’s cheeks grew even more red until he couldn’t stand it anymore and he pushed forward and pressed his lips against the angel’s. He whimpered. And he kept his promise.

‟I love you so much!”

‟I love you too, Dean. I’ll always come back to you.”

 

When they both came out of Dean’s room in the next morning, holding hands, both had slight smiles on their faces. Sam smiled up at them over his coffee.  
‟Found your words again, Dean?” He teased.

‟Shut up, Sammy.” He blushed and got Cas and himself a coffee. He placed Cas’ in front of him and kissed him softly on the lips. Sam knew about them anyway so why hide his true feelings for the angel.

Sam shook his head, smiling and happy that his brother got his angel back. It seemed like you could love someone back to life after all.


End file.
